Small Group, Huge Lessons - Part 1

Small Groups Asian-Style

The typical small group meets to study Scripture, to pray, and to fellowship, which are all wonderful things, but small groups - discipleship - is so much more than this. Enter small groups Asian-style. The global disciple-making pastor at Brook Hills spent several years serving in Central Asia, and this semester, he shared the story of two young Muslim men whom he was able to introduce to Christ. After their conversion, our pastor challenged them to make a list of 100 people whom they personally knew, and when they brought their list to him, he told them to circle the names of the five people least likely to kill them if they told them about their conversion. And prayerfully, they began to approach these people and to share Christ with them.

This is discipleship.

You don't need a seminary degree to disciple others. You don't have to be a pastor to evangelize others. As you are growing in the faith, use what you know and share it with people.

I've never been into track and field sports, but I do know that in relay races, teammates pass the baton to each other during the course of the race. This is what we're to do as Christians - pass the baton of what we know. We are to relay the Gospel to others, relay what God is teaching us, and relay what we know of Scripture.

"Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age" (Matthew 28:19-20).

The Great Commission is not optional.

If you're not investing your life in discipling others (understanding that discipleship begins with evangelism), then evaluate your relationship with God because you are directly disobeying Him. We are to multiply the Gospel by making disicples with our lives. Are you doing this?

The World Drama

We do not know when the world drama will end. We don’t even know what act we’re in. Only the Author knows when the curtain will close, and all we can do is play our role well and help others do the same. For at the end, we are told that the Author will comment on our performance. Therefore, it is crucial that we play our role well.

What the Dead Have Said...About Death

"Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes" (James 4:14).

"The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the Lord blows on it; surely the people are grass" (Isaiah 40:7).

"Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath" (Psalm 39:5)!

In Learning in War-Time, C. S. Lewis states that the great Christians of the past "thought it good for us always to be reminded of our mortality." Knowledge of the curtain's closing and ignorance of when that will take place should affect how we play our part.

"So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom" (Psalm 90:12).

Your Quality of Life

What are you living for now?
Why should you keep the future ever before you?

We cannot know when our life or the world drama will end. We can only be prepared each day to meet that end, to live now in light of that end. It's the unexpected, the unknown, that should motivate us to act, to live, and to truly be present in the present that we are currently experiencing. We aren't promised a tomorrow on this earth. We have the breath that is currently entering and exiting our lungs - beyond that, anything can happen at any time. God has numbered our days, and only He knows how long they are.

God is the one Who was, Who is, and Who is to come. You're one of approximately 7 billion people who is right now, and you're only here because He ordained it. You're only here for a blip of time. Are you making it count? What are you doing with your blip?

At the same time, we are immortal beings, and we will experience eternity in one of two places. Does your life now reflect where you'll spend eternity?

If you're headed to an eternity with Christ in Heaven but you aren't abiding with Him now, you aren't living a life of obedience to Him now, you aren't praising Him now, then what makes you think you want an eternity of that? If you are not doing it now, then why are you even in a relationship with Him? If you don't want to marry the person you're dating, then why are you even dating them? Are you just selfish and want the security? Are you simply after the fire insurance? Man-up and commit. And if you're not willing to commit, then you're not ready to become a Christian.

Being a Christian means that God is the LORD of your life. He's the One in charge. He calls the shots. He's the proverbial driver who drives your life. This is why Paul so often called himself a bondslave to the Lord. When he became a Christian, he was choosing to make the Lord His Master. Do you live as though Christ is your Master, or do you have delusions of grandeur and consider yourself the master of your life? Christ is sovereign. You're not. He's infinitely wise. You're not. So do the smart thing and submit to Him. Submit to the Author of your life, the Author of the world drama, for He knows the plot of the whole play.

Live for Eternity Now

This past August, I had eye surgery, and it has totally changed my perception and how I view everything, literally. This is what knowledge of life's brevity should do to us. It should change our perception on life. We should live differently because how we view everything has changed.

How we spend time changes.
How we treat people changes.
How we use our money changes.
What we value changes.
Has it changed for you?

We should live with eternity stamped on our eyeballs. I want to live for the eternal. I don't want for my life to be wasted. I want the Author of this drama to be pleased with me and with the part that I've played.

When the curtain closes, what will be His verdict of your role and how you played it?

Longing and Living

Remember the old Coca-Cola commercials when someone would take a sip of an ice-cold Coke then loudly sigh with contentment? The intended point was to demonstrate that drinking Coca-Cola offers great satisfaction. While I am a fan of a good ole' fashioned bottled coke, I am well aware that it does not satisfy or make me content. If anything, it just tastes good and brings on the calories.

Evelyn Underhill once explained that there are three great longings of the human soul:
1. A longing for a place to belong
2. A longing to be loved
3. A longing to be clean

These cravings lead people to join everything from sports teams to churches. They motivate many women to watch chick flicks and to dream about their wedding and their knight in shining armor. They incite individuals to give alms, make pilgrimages to holy places, to confess their sins, and to do good deeds.

Ultimately, what we long for is Christ, and we will only know satisfaction and contentment when we know Him.
Only in Him do we find true acceptance and membership in His family.
Only in Him do we find One who loves us unconditionally.
Only in Him do we find forgiveness of sins.

He satisfies our hunger. He fulfills our longing.

"For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things" (Ps. 107:9).

Are you seeking your satisfaction in Him? Whether you are longing for a significant other, a job, more money, etc., it won't bring you joy or contentment. It is a poor substitute for Christ. Furthermore, if you are looking to things or people instead of Christ, you will be consumed with your pursuit of them because you will always have to obtain something more in order to finally be content. It's a fruitless endeavor because you will never attain satisfaction apart from Christ.

What do you spend your time thinking about? What directs your life? What do you long for and in who/what are you seeking to fulfill that craving? Are you living for the temporal or for the eternal? Who is your life centered on - God or yourself?

"My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness. I dare not trust the sweetest frame but wholly lean on Jesus' name. On Christ the Solid Rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand." Only Christ is a solid Rock, a sure foundation. Take a lesson from the foolish man and build your life on Christ. Seek Him instead of things or people. He is what you need.

Even as a believer who is trying to be God-centered, it is so easy to be distracted and to satiate ourselves with a diet that is sub-par. I've traveled to many impoverished areas in Asia and have seen people who eat loads of rice but are malnourished. While their stomachs do not growl, they fill themselves with food that does not benefit them. Food that does not sustain them. In his sermon "The Weight of Glory," C. S. Lewis states, "Our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at sea. We are far too easily pleased." Are you filling yourself with that which nourishes, or are you "far too easily pleased" with a fare that lacks nutritional value for your soul?

It is also so easy to become consumed with looking to the future, longing for so many things to happen, that you miss out on where God has you right now. In a letter to his wife, Jim Elliot penned the words, "Let not our longing slay the appetite for our living." God has you where you are right now for a reason.

Be present. Be seeking Christ. Be content with where He has placed you and with what He has given you. Long and live for Christ.

The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob

Sometimes my mind gets a little sidetracked in church. I can't help it. The pastor will say something or I'll read a verse, and my mind just takes off in a bunch of different directions. It happened recently. We were studying Exodus 3 and 6, and the phrase "the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob" occurs 3 times in chapter 3 and 2 times in chapter 6. Well, of course, this made me think of Genesis!

There's a reason why God reiterated this phrase to Moses and to His people.

When Moses wrote the Pentateuch (the first five books of the OT), he was traveling with the people of Israel to the Promised Land. They were in the wilderness with Egypt behind them and Canaan before them. This was the time and the circumstances in which Moses was writing, and God used him to pen the history of the universe and of His people in such a way as to prepare them for their journey, entry, and life in the Promised Land while at the same time teach us about Himself, His plan, and His people.

When God spoke to Moses via the burning bush, He identified Himself as the God of the patriarchs. God qualifies and explains His holy name, YHWH, by giving Moses and His people a point of reference to understand Who He is. From oral tradition, the Israelites knew the stories of their forefathers. From these stories, they knew God's promises. They knew God's provision. They knew God's providence.

Yet before leading them into the Promised Land, the Israelites needed to transition from knowing about God to knowing Him personally.

"During those many days the king of Egypt died, and the people of Israel groaned because of their slavery and cried out for help. Their cry for rescue from slavery came up to God. And God heard their groaning, and God remembered His covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. God saw the people of Israel - and God knew." (Exodus 2:23-25)

First of all, God never forgot His covenant with the patriarchs. Nothing slips off His radar. All of this had been planned before the creation of the universe, and He was just waiting for the opportune moment. God had actually foretold of this sojourning of His people in Egypt in Genesis 15 when He made His covenant with Abraham. Israel was to spend 400 years of affliction as slaves before God would bring them out (Genesis 15:12-16).

Why didn't God just go ahead and give the Promised Land to Abraham, Isaac, or Jacob? Why would He make such promises to them if they were to never live long enough to see their fulfillment? Why would God design for His people to spend 400 painful years as slaves to the Egyptians instead of just letting them head home and have the land? Because God was orchestrating the events of all people for His glory.

Picture an orchestra - there's the strings section, the woodwind section, the percussion section, and the brass section. And within those sections, there are many different instruments. The maestro is responsible for conducting all of these sections and all of the instruments in these sections in order to produce the intended melody. God's people are only one section of the orchestra in the massive symphony He is producing.

In Genesis 15:16, God explained to Abraham, "And they shall come back here in the fourth generation, for the iniquity of the Amorites is not yet complete." God is just and righteous in His timing, and God used Israel's conquest of Canaan to deliver His judgment on the Amorites. This is one reason for why the section of God's people had to wait before He would lead them out of Egypt.

Faith is the second reason. As I studied Genesis 25:19-28 this week, I pondered why God waited 20 years before allowing Rebekah to conceive. He had promised to create a nation through Abraham, and Isaac was the son of promise. With all the couple had going for them, Rebekah should have become pregnant without a hitch. But, no. Instead of popping out babies like a machine, this couple experienced 20 years of barrenness. God was obviously going to give them children. So why did He wait 20 years to keep this promise?

God was reinforcing that it is He, not man, who is in control. Man is dependent on Him. Man needs God. Isaac and Rebekah could not trust in themselves to make this happen. They had to trust in God. "God wasn't about to let such an important promise seem naturally fulfilled. Had Isaac and Rebekah conceived in the first year, they would have been tremendously less attentive to spiritual purpose and divine participation. In other words, they might have missed God's gift." (Beth Moore, The Patriarchs).

The knowledge we acquire about God and ourselves, the depth we experience in our relationship with Him, the effect we have on others because of what God has done in us - all of this is a gift. A gift we would not have if there were no seasons in our lives in which our faith in God was tested. God gives in such a way in order to help us not miss Him as the Giver.

Crockery and Kerfuffles

I recently decided to make a strawberry cake to take to school, and I followed an online recipe for the cream cheese strawberry icing. However, something went awry, for instead of icing, I ended up with a soupy pink glob. Granted it tasted good, but it was definitely not the right texture to qualify it as icing. Two packages of cream cheese, three pounds of confectioner’s sugar, and oodles of cornstarch later, I finally ended up with a concoction that would sit instead of drip down the cake, although the "icing" took out my mixer in the process. But the kitchen, cake, and I all managed to recover from the icing kerfuffle, although the mixer had to be thrown away.

That online recipe was a crock. Similarly, anytime we try to follow a person instead of Jesus or guidelines instead of Scripture, we end up in a kerfuffle. And the results are much worse than my original batch of icing.

I never did get to eat a slice of that cake...

A Relationship Manifesto - Part 4

"Single life may be only a stage of a life's journey, but even a stage is a gift. God may replace it with another gift, but the receiver accepts His gifts with thanksgiving. This gift for this day. The life of faith is lived one day at a time, and it has to be lived - not always looked forward to as though the 'real' living were around the next corner. it is for today for which we are responsible. God still owns tomorrow" (Elisabeth Elliot, Let Me Be A Woman).

Single, dating, engaged, or married - every stage is a gift. How are you doing with the gift God has given you? Have you accepted it with thanksgiving? Are you living in the moment, or are you too busy planning for when your life will start to realize that it already has? Make the most of this gift, of the precious time you have been given.

EVEN IN EDEN

This is it. The first instance of boy meets girl. The original moment of love's first glance. The first wedding. A couple who knew perfection, who knew perfect love - a love that would survive the deepest joy and the greatest heartbreak of human history. But the greatest part of this love story involves the One Who wrote it and the One Who loved most.

In Genesis 2:7, Scripture describes God as the Master Potter forming and sculpting man out of the dust of the ground, and when God stepped back to observe His handiwork, He was pleased. All was "good" - good, that is, until one reaches Genesis 2:18.

"The the LORD God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him" (Gen. 2:18).

Even in the perfection of Eden it was not good for man to be alone. Whoa - hold the phone! Does this mean that every person is meant to be married? Does God's evaluation here signify that to be single is to be inferior or incomplete in some way? No! And Paul addresses this in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8.

"I wish that all were as I myself am. But each one has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am" (1 Cor. 7:7-8).

God gives each person their own gift. Are you looking with longing at what God has given another instead of enjoying what He has given you? God intended your gift for you. If He meant it for someone else, He would have given it to them. But your gift has your name on it. And if your gift is singleness, Paul comments that this is "good." He uses creation language, repeats God's assessment from Genesis 1, and applies it to singleness.

So what is God getting at in Genesis 2:18? How come it was not good for Adam to be alone, yet God sees fit to allow you or me to be single? First of all, the Genesis account demonstrates that God created humanity for relationships. While we will not all be married, we all have a need to be connected to others. God wired us to know and be known. And this need existed even in the Garden. Second, as Paul says, "each one has his own gift from God" (1 Cor. 7:7). God saw fit to give Adam a wife, and He knows best. Remember, He is the Author of this tale. He's the Giver of the gift.

ADAM'S WHAT?

God knows everything, and when He made Adam, He was not unaware that Eve's creation would be forthcoming. So why didn't He make them at the same time? I believe that God did this to show the necessity of woman and human relationships and to give dignity to her as the culmination of His creation. No other religion offers a story for the formation of woman, but to God, she is vital. Adam needed her, was incomplete without her. It was as if he was missing a piece of himself until he met her - and Adam acknowledged as much when he burst into poetry upon first glimpse of his wife: "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;" (Gen. 2:23). He had waited his whole life to meet her, granted that had only been a few hours since both were made on the sixth day of creation. Essentially, by ordering events in this manner, God demonstrated Eve's necessity.

So our Sovereign Creator God assessed Adam's situation and determined to solve the problem Himself by creating a helpmeet for Adam.

A helper fit for Adam.
Someone who is like him.
Someone who corresponds to him.
Someone who is opposite to him.
Someone who would help him in doing what he could not do alone.
Someone who would provide what is lacking in the man.
Someone who would be his corresponding counterpart.

"So God declared that help was on the way from one who would be both like and unlike the man - one whose corresponding differences would make man complete for what God intended him to do. This is why the Apostle Paul would say that the man was not made for the woman 'but woman for man' (1 Corinthians 11:9). The woman would make it possible for man to do what he never could alone. And likewise for the woman. Something 'very good' would fill man's aloneness" (R. Kent Hughes, Beginning and Blessing).

We need each other. As people and especially as believers - we need both genders. And this was God's plan from the beginning. Human beings cannot complete their destiny without mutual assistance.

GOD'S BACHELOR AWARENESS PROGRAM

Oblivious. Clueless. Unaware. Sometimes guys just don't get it. No offense to any male readers - but you guys are different, and sometimes the extent of the differences are astounding.

After God makes His divine assessment, the reader expects immediate implementation of His solution. But what happens next?

"So out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what He would call them. And whatever the man called the living creature, that was its name...But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him" (Gen. 2:19, 20b).

God knew that Adam's aloneness was "not good," but Adam had no clue. Because all was perfect in Eden, He may not have even recognized that he was alone. Hence, the animal project. By seeing and naming every animal (and how many animals are there?), God was driving in the fact that, unlike the animals, Adam had no partner.

Now, do we see Adam lamenting his singleness? Do we see him begging God for a mate? No, granted, woman had not even been made yet. Despite that, what we do see is Adam being obedient to God. And whatever our stage, this is our call - to have faith and to be faithful.

From Genesis 2:7, we see that God created Adam. In Genesis 2:18, God identified a problem - man's loneliness, and God determined to solve the problem. In Genesis 2:19, God formed the animals and brought them to Adam to name. And in Genesis 2:21, God put Adam to sleep, performed surgery, and made Eve. Finally, in Genesis 2:22, God brought the woman to Adam. In this passage, there's an emphasis on God doing the action - we see the obvious hand of God orchestrating events according to His master plan. Throughout, He is the One Who is in control and Who is working all things toward the fulfillment of His purpose.

And He is working in your life, weaving every event and circumstance. I do not know what stage you are in, what gift you are currently experiencing, but trust the Giver and enjoy His gift.

"Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living" (Jim Elliot, quoted in Let Me Be A Woman).

The Good of Good Friday

REMEMBER

As Israel prepared to enter the Promised Land, God's words to them resounded with the command to remember (Deuteronomy 8-11):
Remember His provision for them during their forty years of wilderness wanderings - the manna from heaven, the quail, the water from rocks, the fact that their clothes never wore out and their feet did not swell.
Remember His guidance - a cloud by day and fire by night.
Remember His promises - the land would be theirs. All they had to do was claim what God had already won for them.
Remember His covenant - He promised to be faithful even when His people were unfaithful.
Remember His laws and keep His commandments.
Remember that it was the LORD who gave them the power to obtain land, wealth, and comfort. All blessings come from Him.

Upon recounting all that God had done for them, how could they not be assured of His continued care? They could go forth in confidence and peace because they followed the LORD God, the One Who had created the universe and the One Who was in relationship with them.

THE PESACH

This week, I helped the family that I nanny prepare for Passover Seder. As we were cooking, the mom and the children explained the meaning of the various foods - the matzah and the bitter herbs to remember what the Israelites quickly ate as they awaited the original Passover, salt water to represent the tears of God's people while slaves in Egypt, charoset to symbolize the mortar that the Israelites used to make bricks when the Egyptians stopped providing them with grain, a lamb shankbone to represent the original Pesach offering, hard-boiled eggs to represent life and the perpetuation of existence, and four glasses of wine to represent the four stages of Israel's redemption process from Exodus to the Promised Land.

During the Seder, the maggid, the retelling of the Exodus story and the first Passover, is shared in fulfillment of Exodus 12:24-27, and my family even uses a "Bag of Plagues" to depict the events leading up to their release from Egypt. (The cow was my personal favorite - you press a button and it falls over dead, but I also liked the man cut out of bubble wrap - he represents the plague of boils.)

The entire purpose for Passover Seder is to remember. And it is only fitting that at the Last Supper, Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples. He instituted a new meal and issued that His followers take and eat in remembrance of Him (Lk. 22:19; 1 Cor. 11:24-25). One Passover was replaced by another, and once again, there is the instruction to remember. "For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes" (1 Cor. 11:26). Paul directs believers to partake of the Lord's Supper in order to both remember Christ's death and to proclaim His salvation.

GOOD FRIDAY

Growing up, my family and my home church did not observe the liturgical calendar, and as a result, it has only been since I came to seminary that I have learned about the significance of events such as Maundy Thursday and Lent. I have recently been reading a book on Jewish spiritual disciplines, and I quickly observed that there is rhythm to Jewish life, a purposefulness and a thoughtfulness in the way that the Jews live. From keeping kosher to observing Shabbat, to the way that they mourn - there is intentionality. Everything is designed to point the person toward God and toward community. Everything is designed to remember.

Life can be so daily. How often do we stop - or even pause - to think and reflect? I often feel like there is barely enough time to consider the present or to plan for the future much less to remember the past. But remembering changes my perspective of the present and the future. I regain my sense of what is important. I grow in my confidence of the Lord's power. I offer praise and thanks to the Lord for what He has given. And I feel a greater sense of peace as I trust that the One Who has kept His promises and led me thus far will continue to do so.

In lieu of Holy Week, I decided to make space in my busy calendar to remember, and here lies the result of my musings.

In the Most Holy Place of the tabernacle stood the Ark of the Covenant. The wings of the cherubim spread out above the mercy seat, the place where God would meet with man (Exodus 25:22). The mercy seat was the lid that covered the contents of the ark, which included the 10 Commandments, and each year on the Day of Atonement, the priest would sprinkle the blood of the goat on the mercy seat and in front of the mercy seat. Essentially, the blood was put between the law and the cloud of God's presence, for "without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins" (Hebrews 9:22b). The presence of God saw the broken law of His people, and with the blood, God saw that the payment of sin had been satisfied by a substitute. Atonement had been made.

But the sacrifice had to be repeatedly offered. It was insufficient.

"But in these sacrifices there is a reminder of sin every year. For it is impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins" (Hebrews 10:3).

Enter Jesus Christ of Nazareth. He came not with a sacrifice but as the sacrifice.

"Consequently, he is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them" (Hebrews 7:25).

"But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God" (Hebrews 10:12).

Since it is Good Friday, I read Mark's description of the crucifixion, and what I found blew me away!

"And Jesus uttered a loud cry and breathed his last. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom" (Mark 15:37-38).

Jesus gave a great shout before dying (Mt. 27:50; Mk. 15:37; Lk. 23:46), but only John informs us of the content of this cry: "It is finished!" In the Greek, this is one word, and "that one word was the great shout" (William Barclay, The Gospel of Mark). FINISHED! Jesus died proclaiming His victory.

At the moment when Jesus died, the veil was torn. Direct access to God became available to all people. No more animal sacrifices because the Lamb of God had been offered on our behalf.

The veil was torn - I can't get over this! The Greek word skizo is the verb used to describe this action, and my Greek lexicon defines it as "to divide by use of force, split, divide, separate, tear apart..." (BDAG). Force was used to tear this veil - it was not by accident nor by the power of man - it was a divine act.

Here's the really cool part, the only other time that this word is used in this Gospel is in Mark 1:10 at Jesus' baptism: "And when He came up out of the water, immediately he saw the heavens opening and the Spirit descending on him like a dove." Like the veil in Mark 15:28, the heavens were torn asunder. In 1:10, Mark is directly alluding to Isaiah 64:1a, which is addressing the LORD: "Oh that you would rend the heavens and come down." Even at the beginning of His ministry, it was already apparent that Jesus, the Promised Messiah, had come down to earth to be the bridge between God and man.

"The Word became flesh and took up residence among us. We observed His glory, the glory as the One and only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth" (John 1:14).

"But made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father" (Philippians 2:7-11).

A Relationship Manifesto - Part 3

EMOTIONAL NEEDS

A Tale of Two Ticks

What happens when two ticks feed off each other? They both end up dying because they drain the life out of each other. Two ticks can only survive together if they are seeking their nourishment from a third party rather than from each other.

The same is true in human relationships.

When a person expects their significant other to make them happy, content, secure, or significant, not only are they setting themselves up for supreme disappointment but they are expecting an imperfect human to do what only God can provide. And as with the two ticks, it will kill the relationship.

Take a Lesson from Leah

Jacob
In Genesis 29, Jacob has escaped his brother's wrath by heading to his mother's family in the east to find a bride. Behind him in Canaan was a life of serious family dysfunction. His brother, Esau, was seeking to kill him for taking his birthright (Genesis 27:41-45). He grew up knowing that his father favored Esau over him (Genesis 25:28). And because he was on the lam, he was separated from the one person (his mother) who did love and care for him. Talk about a man with an emotionally empty tank! In fact, his tank was so low that he kissed Rachel the first time that he met her - before even speaking to her (Genesis 29:11), which was totally taboo in that culture. But he wanted love. He wanted fulfillment. And he thought Rachel was his answer.

Jacob asked Rachel's father for her hand in marriage and committed to work seven years as a bride price. When the seven years were up, Jacob actually went to his soon-to-be father-in-law and actually said to him, "'Give me my wife that I may go in to her,'" (Genesis 29:21). Now, can you imagine a guy having the chutzpah to say such a thing to your dad?

For seven years, Jacob toiled thinking "If I can just get Rachel, then everything will be okay." His life was empty, and although God had appeared to him on his journey east, he was seeking a relationship and sex to fulfill him. And this later caused him and his family a tremendous amount of pain.

Leah
After the wedding feast, Jacob went into his tent to consummate his marriage, but he woke up to find that he had married the wrong girl! His father-in-law had switched Rachel with the older daughter Leah (Genesis 29:22-25)! Can you imagine the pain that Leah felt, especially when Jacob realized the truth that morning?

Although Leah was the older sister, she had spent her entire life in the shadow of her beautiful younger sister Rachel. Scripture contains this description of the two sisters: "Leah's eyes were weak, but Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance" (Genesis 29:17). Whether she was cross-eyed or had some other disfiguration, she was not Rachel. She was not "the beautiful sister." Furthermore, she did not have the love of her husband Jacob, for "he loved Rachel more than Leah" (Genesis 29:30), and seven years later, he married her and became a polygamist. Spending her whole life being the girl nobody wanted - I'm guessing Leah's emotional tank was also running on fumes!

She did have Jacob's body, though, and she used sex and childbirth as an attempt to win her husband's attention and love. She was trying to find happiness and love through her husband and children. But neither marriage or family can substitute for God.

Take a look at this:

Leah's 1st Son: Reuben
"And Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben, for she said, 'Because the LORD has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me'" (Genesis 29:32).

Leah's 2nd Son: Simeon
"She conceived again and bore a son, and said, 'Because the LORD has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also'" (Genesis 29:33).

Leah's 3rd Son: Levi
"Again she conceived and bore a son, and said, 'Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have born him three sons'" (Genesis 29:34).

Leah's 4th Son: Judah
"And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, 'This time I will praise the LORD'" (Genesis 29:35).

With the birth of her first three sons, Leah was hoping that their births would finally secure Jacob's affections. She ardently desired for him to love her, but, alas, she was not Rachel. But with her last son, Judah, Leah makes no mention of Jacob or of her marital relationship. Instead, we see a determination to praise God. No longer were children or her spouse where she sought hope and acceptance. Leah finally found in God what only He could provide - true love and security.

Now let me tell you something really awesome that God did. He took the ugly duckling sister, the wife of a loveless marriage, the girl whom nobody wanted, and He blessed her. How? It was through Judah's line - through Leah - that God sent Christ (Matthew 1:2-3). How cool is that?!

Human Emotional Needs

We all have emotional needs. Essentially, every person has a need to feel secure and a need to feel significant. Typically, women have a greater need for security while men have a greater need for significance. These needs drive many of the decisions that we make, particularly in our relationships with others because we are seeking that person to make us feel valuable, cared for, protected, or important. We're looking to a relationship to make us feel complete and satisfied. We're making a person or a relationship our god, and it's a counterfeit.

The core issue is that we're sinners.

We have emotional needs, but because of the Fall, we have developed ways of meeting our needs that are defective. We expect people, things, or even piety to fulfill us. But when we do this, we are not worshipping God - we are worshipping our needs. And only God can ultimately meet our needs.

Why can't two ticks survive together? Because each is preeminently interested in his own self-interest and not in the good of the other person and because they are seeking from each other what neither of them can provide.

"If you get married as Jacob did, putting the weight of all your deepest hopes and longings on the person you are marrying, you are going to crush him or her with your expectations. It will distort your life and your spouse's life in a hundred ways. No person, not even the best one, can give your soul all it needs. You are going to think you have gone to bed with Rachel, and you will get up and it will always be Leah" (Tim Keller, Counterfeit Gods).

Only God can meet your needs. Only He can satisfy. Only He can truly love you.

"For He satisfies the longing soul, and the hungry soul He fills with good things" (Psalm 107:9).

Recycle Yourself

"Recycle yourself"

As I was driving home for work this week and stuck in 280's lovely rush-hour traffic, this was the statement plastered on the back of the SUV in front of me. Written in fine print below this slogan was the imperative to be an organ donor.

Are you recycling yourself? I'm not talking about donating your organs, I'm referring to giving your life for God's glory and for the sake of others. The way to recycle yourself is to invest your life in the eternal.

Think about the legacy you want to leave on this earth. How do you want to be remembered? What kind of change do you want to effect in this world? Are you making a difference for God in the lives of people and in the lives of generations to come?

Are you even on the path leading to the type of legacy you want to leave? Or is your current reality a far cry from where you'd like to be?

Abraham died this week - in my devotions, that is. As I was studying the portion of Genesis 25 that closes the curtain on Abraham's life, I contemplated his legacy. The New Testament is riddled with mention of this patriarch, and for me, two aspects of his legacy stand out in Scripture.

1. Faith
From leaving Ur to trusting God's promises to sacrificing Isaac, Abraham believed God. Throughout his life, God was teaching Abraham how to live by faith. While he didn't always get it right, Father Abraham was faithful overall, and "...his example became the reference point to understanding that salvation comes through faith" (R. Kent Hughes, Genesis: Beginning and Blessing). God was not only teaching Abraham about faith, He was using Abraham's life to teach others about faith (James 2; Hebrews 11). What God teaches us is not just for us alone. It is also for the sake of others.

2. Christ
Abraham lived in covenant with God by faith, and God chose to establish His people through Abraham and to bless the nations through his offspring. This came to fulfillment in Christ. Christ came through Abraham's line, and He made reconciliation possible between man and God. This is the inheritance that Abraham passed on to his descendants and, ultimately, to all people. We can become Abraham's offspring through accepting Christ as our Savior (Galatians 3).

Did he have any clue as to how God would use his life? Did he realize that his story, his one small dot on God's eternal timeline, would be affecting and instructing millions of people centuries later? No! And we don't know the big picture of how God will use our lives and deaths - our stories - both while we're alive and after we're gone. But we, like Abraham, need to be faithful in our daily lives. We need to be seeking after God, especially if we want to leave a legacy that pleases and praises Him.

Are you recycling yourself?

Sleeping Giant

"We have awakened a sleeping giant and have instilled in him a terrible resolve." As the shipmen on his boat celebrated their successful attack on Pearl Harbor, these were the words that were uttered by Japanese Admiral Yamamoto.

The church in America is a sleeping giant.

While warfare occurs all around us, we are oblivious, or like the 80% of Americans who did not think that our country would war with either Germany or Japan in World War II, we are incredibly naive. Sometimes I wonder if a Pearl Harbor-sized attack on the church is enough to arouse the sleeping giant that we've become.

We have an enemy. Scripture teaches us that Satan "prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour (1 Peter 5:8). He's after God's people, and he shoots to kill. Knowing the enemy - that's one of the primary rules of combat. But if you don't think you're in a war, then there's no reason to study the enemy. What enemy, right?

This is my homework assignment for a class - to amass what I can from Scripture regarding Satan's worldview, his views of God and of people, and his purposes and methods. Knowledge is good, but it needs to be applied in order to serve any good. Now, I'm no Jedi knight or ninja warrior, but I want my life to be used to "kick in the gates of Hell." So I'm a little excited about this assignment.

Do we have a "terrible resolve" as the church? Are we urgently spending our lives for the sake of the Gospel? Are you diligently engaging in prayer both for yourself and for all of the saints? The Apostle Paul challenged the Ephesians to "keep alert with all perseverence, making supplication for all the saints," (Ephesians 6:18). This is crucial because we are not fighting this battle alone, and we need to support our fellow comrades by interceeding for each other. The members at my church made the commitment to pray for the nations each day of this year, and as I've been reading the prayer requests and the stories of what believers are going through on the other side of the globe, I am seeing the great need experienced by my brothers and sisters and am convicted to support them through my prayers.

Check out Operation World if you want to join in receiving prayer updates for the nations.

We are engaged in a spiritual battle. First of all, I hope you know what side you're on. Second, do you dress out each day for war (Ephesians 6:14-17)? Third, do you know how to wield your weapon, and are you using it (Ephesians 6:17)? Fourth, are you battling on your knees?

Alertness asserts the need for prayer, and through prayer, the believer remains watchful, which is important when our enemy is prowling around. Recently, one of my professors has begun prefacing his call to arms (he's the one who tells us to "go kick in the gates of Hell") with the reminder to "pray before you do" because living proactively for Christ is not a matter in which we engage lightly or without thought or prayer. As soldiers go through boot camp and train, prayer is our preparation as well as our power in the trenches.

In his prayers in 1:15-23 and in 3:14-21, Paul prays that the church would understand the great power that God has placed at their disposal to enable them to live according to God’s calling. God equips the church with the power and the means to live victoriously, which is why Paul reminds his readers to utilize the mighty strength that God has already provided for them (6:10). God gives this armor to believers for the purpose of defending themselves from the cosmic powers, but each believer is responsible for taking it up and putting it on (6:13). The church lives in the evil day (6:13), and only by using what God has provided can the church stand firm against the evil powers.

Don't be caught unaware. Don't allow the enemy to perform his own version of Pearl Harbor in your life. Don't be a "sleeping giant." Being on the winning side should instill in us a "terrible resolve" to take up our armor, to pray, and to fight against our enemy. By utilizing the armor that God has provided and by remaining watchful and in prayer, believers can defend the church’s position while it awaits for God to accomplish the final destruction of the evil powers.

"Therefore, take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm" (Ephesians 6:13).

A Relationship Manifesto - Part 2

"THE ONE"

One of the best pick-up lines I've ever heard goes something like this:
"So you know in the Garden of Eden when God made woman from Adam's rib?
Well, if that's true then you're one prime rib!"

As much as I enjoy cheesy pick-up lines, bless the poor guys who actually try to use them. But it is one of many crazy things that I have watched people use in their efforts to find and to catch "the one." As many of you know, I've been studying Genesis, and in chapter 24, Abraham sends his servant on a quest to find "the one" for his son Isaac. Here's some highlights about what God taught me regarding this endeavor - it totally was not what I expected.

God sovereignly provides for His people.

I do NOT mean that God will provide an husband or a wife for each person. For some, His plan involves a life of singleness, and while many of us pray that is not His plan for us, we must remember that this life is not our own. It belongs to Him, and it is His to do with as He wishes. Furthermore, His way is best. If it is His design for you to be single and you were to marry anyway, you would be engaging in a life that was not all that it could be because of your disobedience - and who knows how this would affect the lives and eternities of others. A life invested in the eternal is willing to die to personal desires and dreams for the sake of Christ and others.

So what does that statement involve? Journey with me in the quick study of 4 famous couples in Scripture.

1. Adam and Eve (Genesis 2) - God created Adam and set him about naming the animals and tending to the affairs of the Garden. God determined that "it is not good that the man should be alone" (2:18), put Adam into a deep sleep, and performed a surgery in order to create a "helpmeet" for him. This couple spawned the rest of humanity.

2. Isaac and Rebekah (Genesis 24) - Abraham sent his servant to find a wife for his middle-aged (by our standards) son, Isaac. The servant traveled hundreds of miles east from Canaan to Paddan-Aran in order to locate this proverbial needle in a haystack. Abraham and the servant were both confident that God would provide. Upon arriving in Nahor, the servant prayed asking for God to show him the girl by causing her to supply not only him but his thirsty camels with water, and "before he had finished speaking, behold, Rebekah...came out with her water jar on her shoulder" (24:15). BEFORE the servant had finished his prayer, Rebekah showed up, which means that God was already answering his prayer before he had even prayed it. Not only that, but Rebekah went to the tremendous effort of demonstrating hospitality to this servant and his caravan. God's choice couldn't have been clearer if there were flashing billboards pointing at Rebekah! Not only that but Rebekah was willing to follow a perfect stranger to a land she'd never seen to marry a man whom she'd never met - this just demonstrates even further how God's hand was directing this entire relationship. After marrying, God gave them two sons, Jacob and Esau, and from Jacob's line came the nation of Israel - the nation through whom God would send His Son, thus, keeping His promise to Abraham that from Him all the nations of the world would be blessed (Gn. 12:3).

3. Ruth and Boaz (Ruth 1-4) - A married Jewish couple, Naomi and Elimelech, moves their family to Moab when Israel experiences a famine, and in the course of 10 years, Naomi was both a widow and childless. Without family, provisions, or land, she heads back to Israel with her Moabite daughter-in-law, Ruth. Ruth, a Moabitess, a Gentile. To Israelites, she was no better than a dog. What Israelite in his right mind would marry a Gentile, especially a Moabite after what transpired with the Moabite women in Numbers 25? Naomi and Ruth's future seemed grim indeed. But one day, Naomi "just happened" to send Ruth to glean fields for grain in order to appropriate for them some food, and Ruth "just happened" to glean in the fields of Boaz. Although Ruth had no clue who he was, Boaz, as a relative of Elimelech, had the ability to serve as a kinsman-redeemer and to provide for Elimelech's family.

The Lord serves in the background throughout this story, weaving circumstances so that Ruth and Boaz marry. Nothing in this story is happenstance - it is the providence of God. And at the conclusion of this book, we read a genealogy that tells us that the great-grandchild of this Moabite woman and faithful Israelite is none other than King David. And in the genealogy of Matthew 1, we see that it is through Ruth's line that the true King is born - Jesus, the one "who is called Christ" (Mt. 1:16).

4. Mary and Joseph (Matthew 1; Luke 1-2) - A young Jewish girl was engaged to Jewish carpenter, but before their wedding, Mary was found to be with child. Although an angel had appeared to her telling her that God would perform a miracle and, by the power of the Holy Spirit, would cause her to become pregnant without having sex, Joseph believed the worst and was prepared to quietly end the relationship until he had an angelic visitor of his own who authenticated Mary's story. God wanted this couple to be together because He had chosen them to be the earthly parents of His only Son - the One Who would be the Savior of the world.

So what does all of this have to do with locating "the one"?

In these four love stories, we see the sovereignty of God. We see how it is His providence that brought them together. He worked the events of history to bring these couples together, and it was for a specific purpose. It was not just so they could get married and procreate. God's purpose for their marriages involved the provision of His people. It was for the sake of others.

I do believe that God puts people together and that, for those who are to marry, there is one perfect person whom He has in mind for them. It is not happenstance or chemistry that causes people to end up together. It is God's handiwork, and it is for a bigger purpose.

Going back to the study of Isaac and Rebekah, Genesis 24 demonstrates God's providence in bringing the two together. He sovereignly selected the perfect spouse for Isaac - the wife who would be the best fit for fulfilling with Isaac God's plan of establishing His people. Together, they were used by God for this purpose.

Two people should not get married unless they serve God better together than they do apart because marriage, like everything else in life, is not about us but about God. This is the picture that we see in these four couples. Together, they were able to fulfill God's plan in a way that they could not have done as singles. And God used their marriages to provide for His people. God meant for their marriages to occur for the sake of others.

In Scripture, we see that God's plan involves marriage as a picture to the world of the relationship between Christ and His church. This is part of His purpose in bringing people together - to be His witnesses in this manner. Marriage serves a bigger purpose than just the joining two lives - it is a graphic picture to a lost world of the sacrifice and love of God, of the submission and service of His people, and of the intimate relationship that He seeks to have with us. Husbands and wives are supposed to demonstrate through their marriage what a relationship with God looks like.

In the Meantime

Before searching for or waiting on "the one," we need to understand why God brings people together in the first place. Now that this has been established, let's see what Scripture teaches about "the one."

1. We need to be faithful in what God has called us to today.
Each of those four couples was not spending their time pursuing a relationship. Rebekah was not on the prowl for a husband when she came to the well and offered water to a stranger. She was simply going about her daily tasks with faithfulness, and Genesis 24 depicts her as a woman of character. Adam was not sitting around lamenting the fact that he did not have a partner; he was faithfully doing the work that God had given him when God put him to sleep only to have him wake up married! Be faithful where God has put you with the task that He has given you. Plus, you aren't going to be worth having if you spend all your time and energy looking for "the one" instead of being the one whom God has called you to be.

Don't be consumed or stressed about finding "the one" - be focused on faithfully completing what God has for you today. Keep your eyes on the big picture, on the eternal rather than the temporal. "Set your mind on things above, not only earthly things" (Colossians 3:2). In the scope of things with all of the lost and needy and dying people in this world - is finding "the one" really what's most important? How often is the Lord's work your priority? Do you spend more time worrying about this issue than you do engaging in God's work? If so, that's an idol, and you need to follow Joey Gladstone's advice and "cut it out!"

Also, lead with your head - do not just blindly surge into a relationship and base it all on feelings because a relationship is more than just feelings. Knowing that God's design for marriage involves it serving as a witness to the world of the commitment, sacrifice, and intimate connection between God and His people - such a relationship cannot simply be sustained by feelings. Feelings will fade. A husband will not always feel like putting his wife's needs ahead of his own. A wife will not always feel like submitting to her husband. Love is a choice, and it involves great sacrifice. Therefore, tread prayerfully and thoughtfully from the get-go.

2. Trust God.
Our faith in God and our obedience to God are directly related. When we trust, we obey, and when we disobey, we are simply communicating our lack of faith in God.

Look at Abraham's statement of faith about the Lord's provision for his son: "The LORD, the God of heaven, who took me from my father's house and from the land of my kindred, and who spoke to me and swore to me, 'To your offspring I will give this land,' he will send his angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there" (Genesis 24:7). From his past experiences, Abraham knew that the God Who had called him and Who had sustained him would continue to provide for him. God had never given Abraham any reason to doubt Him. And thousands of years later, God has never given us any reason to doubt Him. But you will not have this assurance if you do not know God and if you are not abiding in God.

Before the creation of the world, God already had a plan for your life. He has written your story, and He already knows who you are to marry - if you are to marry at all. And His plan is perfect because He is perfect. Furthermore, He will lead you - just stick to His script. As with Isaac and Rebekah, God knows the exact location of your needle in a haystack, and He will arrange events in order for that needle to become apparent at just the right time. "God's hand may be hidden, but his effective power is absolute" (R. Kent Hughes, Genesis: Beginning and Blessing).

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6).

3. Pursue God - not some guy or girl.
Until you are seeking God first, you will not be content in your relationships with people. You won't be happy with a boyfriend unless you're right with God. Only God can satisfy. Only He can give you true security and significance. Only in Him will you find contentment. Don't seek from others what only God can provide. Don't make a relationship your idol, your substitute for God. Trust me, a substitute is never as good as the real thing.

4. Wait on God
We don't need to try to make things happen with someone because, when we do this, it's not going to turn out good because we're not waiting on God's will to happen in His time. We might even be pursuing something that is outside of His will for us. Is getting "it" - is getting married or having someone worth the misery and the effects of disobeying God? Wait on God. His way is best. Trying to move ahead of Him or attempting to manipulate events to work the way we want simply communicates our lack of faith in God. Don't settle. Don't go for what would be easy. Do not seek what is ungodly or go after the wrong person (or even the right person at the wrong time). Wait on God - He will show you His way in His time.

5. Pray.
We specifically see this in the story of Isaac and Rebekah. The servant spends a good portion of the chapter communicating with God either through prayer or praise. He knew that God had a plan and that He needed God's help to recognize the girl God had for Isaac. And God answered his prayers. We also see that Isaac (while waiting for the servant to complete his mission) spent time in prayer and meditation (Genesis 24:63), and Scripture seems to indicate that this was not simply a one-time event for him. While we do not know what he was meditating on or praying for, the important thing to note was his involvement in this discipline. Follow the example of the servant and Isaac. Pray for the person God has for you. Pray for their walk with God. Pray for patience - that both of you will wait on God's timing and direction. Pray for yourself - that you will be faithful and diligent in what God has for you. Pray for wisdom.

6. The character of "the one."
More will be blogged about this in the days to come, but in the meantime, Abraham specifically commanded the servant not to choose a wife for his son from among the Canaanite women (Genesis 24:3-4). Basically, God's people only need to pursue and marry God's people. For what partnership has light with darkness (2 Corinthians 6:14)?

7. Assess your motives.
Why are you so desirous of being in a relationship? Is it for selfish reasons? If so, you're not ready for a relationship. One of the commentaries I read while studying Isaac and Rebekah stated that "this marriage was essential to the work of God in the world. Perhaps the question that should be asked today by those who seek guidance in such matters of life is not whether God will lead a person to the right partner but of what value to God such a marriage would be. Prayer for guidance through such circumstances cannot come from a selfish motive; it must be for the will of God" (Allen Ross, Creation and Blessing).

Whether or not God has a spouse for you, live in obedience, faith, and prayer to God with the motivation of loving and serving the One Who is sovereign over all.

Let me leave you with these lyrics. They're from a song written by a music intern at our church specifically for the sermon series our pastor led on the book of Ruth (the song and the sermons are on iTunes if you want to check them out).

"I already wrote the end of the story.
You were made for me,
And I'll never leave you.
And in the end you will be happy.
And in the end you will be with me.
In the end, it's all for my glory."

A Relationship Manifesto - Part 1

Female submission. Gender roles in relationships. Waiting for "the one." Setting boundaries. Emotional needs and how they influence one's choices in whom to date. Love languages. Establishing standards. The precarious line between "friend" and "friendlier." Differences in the way men and women think.

Bet I've already hooked your attention.

As a single female of marrying age in this culture, it is hard to escape the topic of relationships. Perhaps you can identify. In the past 3 1/2 years, I have attended, served, or been in approximately 35 weddings, and this number continues to increase. Each time I visit with my extended family, they ask about my dating life. When I gather with my small group girls or with my girlfriends, the topic of men and relationships always comes up. One of my college friends even facebooked me this week, and at the end of her message, she asked whether or not there is currently a fella in my life. I confess - I'm guilty of doing this to others. Then there is the litany of chick flicks, chick reads, and love songs that pervade the marketplace and influence society's views on relationships.

Don't worry - this is not a bitter diatribe against dating, people in relationships, or guys in general. The above paragraph is simply an observation of reality. This post is nothing more than my thoughts and opinions about various topics relating to relationships.

Female Submission

Oooh - let's start with the controversial topic, the one that men love bring up. In fact, I was recently telling a friend of mine that God taught me a lesson of submission while in India, and his reply was, "Now that's what I'm talking about!"

I think I give off the air of a feminist, but I'm actually quite old-fashioned when it comes to this issue. Let me rephrase this, I believe it in theory, but I'm not always the best at putting it into practice. But I will tell you that the man makes the difference.

Surprise, surprise - I'm going to a wedding this weekend. This time, I'm a friend of the groom, and it is this particular friend who unknowingly taught me the joy of submission. In 2007, he was my director at camp, and he is one of the best servant leaders with whom I have ever worked. I did not always agree with him, and he will quickly tell you that I am stubborn and am certainly not a shrinking violet when it comes to stating my peace. But I respected him and did my best to support his decisions. I wanted to support him. Why? Because of his heart for God and for people and because he strove to serve his team, which often involved personal sacrifice.

Because of him, I got a glimpse of what Ephesians 5 hints at, for the principles that Ephesians applies to marriage also applies to other contexts. How a man treats his wife will affect her desire to submit to him. If he loves her and communicates that love in a manner that she understands, she will have a stronger desire to submit to him. If he is a godly man, she will want to follow him. Keep in mind that the context of Ephesians 5 is comparing a marriage relationship to the relationship between Christ and the church. The wife is to submit to the husband as the church is to submit to Christ.

As women, Scripture commands wives to submit to their husbands (Eph. 5:22). There's no getting around it, and honestly, I don't want to.

A few caveats:

First of all, wifely submission does not hinge on the husband's behavior toward her. She is told to submit - period.

Second, this command does not mean that she should follow her husband into sin, keep all of her thoughts and opinions to herself, or abstain from making decisions in the family. A solid marriage necessitates communication between the husband and wife, and both partners should freely share and be involved in the decision-making process. However, the Lord did appoint the man to be the leader of the household, and as women, we must demonstrate respect as the husband leads out as the head. Furthermore, a wife should encourage, aid, and pray for her husband as he strives to lead.

Third, for some reason - I can't imagine why - whenever this topic comes up, guys often like to toss up the verse from 1 Corinthians 14 about women keeping quiet and being submissive.

Let's have a quick lesson in hermeneutics. In this chapter, Paul is dealing with the subject of orderly worship. The Corinthians had sent Paul several questions to which he was responding, and he was also commenting on issues in the church about which the messengers had told him. Disorderly worship, specifically regarding prophecy and speaking in tongues, was one such issue. Most scholars agree that there was an issue with women engaging in disruptive speech in church. It is not wrong for women to prophesy or to speak in tongues or to teach, but it was being done in a way that was culturally inappropriate and outside the bounds of scriptural guidelines, which is why Paul told the women to refrain from speaking in church. In the Roman culture, women were little more than property to be owned, and Christianity had given them dignity and enabled them to lead and to serve in the church. Some of the Corinthian women had taken this new-found freedom a little too far - to the point that it was becoming an hindrance to outsiders accepting the Gospel because it was inconsistent with accepted standards of modesty in that culture.

As an aside, I also want to note that there are numerous text critical issues in this passage, particularly with 14:34-35; therefore, tread carefully with interpreting this passage or with tossing up a command from Scripture out of context or with little understanding of the cultural factors surrounding the passage. With this cultural understanding, we can know that this command is to be understood as a restriction of rights in a way that is "consistent with the sacrificial death of Jesus 'for' others (11:24), with the pursuit of love (12:31b-14:1), and with the edification of the church (14:3-5, 12, 26)" (Frank Thielman, Theology of the New Testament).

Does this command apply to women of every era and culture? Personally, I do not think so - at least for today's woman in America, and my interpretation is based on my understanding of the culture and of the audience that Paul was originally targeting with this message. However, there are places in the world today, such as Muslim contexts, where women probably would need to remain silent in church. This is not because God thinks any less of women; it is for the sake of the Gospel. We need to be true to Scripture and culturally appropriate in our verbal and non-verbal presentation of our faith. And at some times and places, this might require that we as females keep our mouths shut. From experience in such cultures, I've learned that biting my tongue and praying make this a little easier to accomplish, but like I told you, submission is easier in theory than in real life. But it is God's design, and His ways are perfect, which is why there is joy in doing what He has designed us to do. There is joy in living out our calling.

Beauty and Brokenness

A marriage of beauty and brokenness - that's my summation of what I saw and experienced in India.

The Brokenness:

The sleeping bodies of the homeless lying on the streets at night.
The stretchers filled with the dying struggling with disease and despair as they live out the rest of their days at Kaligat, Mother Teresa's home for the sick and dying.
The thousands of idols being worshiped in the place of the one true God.
The call to prayer blasting its reminder for all Muslims to gather in prayer to Allah.
The little boy whom I saw imitating his father in bowing before Krishna.
The street children - most of whom have some type of illness and will not have an education or a way to end the cycle of poverty in which they are trapped.
The beggars. Some ill, some handicapped, some mentally disabled, some the victims of terrible circumstances - all with no hope of a better future.
The thousands of people chaotically pushing and inching their way close enough to throw their offerings before Kali's image - a goddess who is not real, who cannot smell their incense, who cannot hear their prayers, and who cannot do anything to help them.
The craftsmen who worshiped the very idols that they were making.
The toddler whom I saw playing in his own urine on the side of the street with no one around to take care of him.
The animals sacrificed as atonement to gods who do not have the authority to accept the substitution or to provide a pardon.
The millions of lost people who inhabit that land.
The low respect for human life that pervades the culture.
The utter hopelessness implicitly and explicitly expressed because of the people's efforts to satisfy themselves with everything but God.
The spiritual bondage of the Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs, Jains, Buddhists, atheists, etc. who inhabit the country.
Knowing that almost every person whom I saw or passed on the street is headed to an eternity of separation from God unless something intervenes and changes their trajectory.

People often romanticize missions, but there is nothing romantic about Kolkata. It is much more of a tragedy. I'm not saying this because I had a bad experience there because that is not the case. It is because the city is so desperate, so dreary, and so lost. Millions of people are dying there without knowing Christ. The city is significantly contributing to Hell's population. And many have not even heard the truth. They do not even know. They spend their entire lives believing a lie.

The Beauty:

In order to observe and to appreciate the beauty, it is necessary to know and to experience the brokenness. It is akin to how one cannot truly experience the heights of joy unless having also known the depths of pain. In this case, it is necessary to have experienced the converse in order to appreciate the value of its opposite.

India is a marriage of both partners, of beauty and brokenness, and at the core, knowledge of these two spouses necessitates an abiding relationship with God.

The national believers who are burdened for their lost countrymen and who are striving to live out their calling and to be faithful witnesses for God.
The children at the Good Hope School. Not only are they receiving an education, but these are Hindu, Muslim, and street children who are hearing the Gospel. This place is one bright ray of hope in the city.
The Christians with whom we worked - their dedication and the love for God and for people that sustains them.
The seeds that were planted, the conversations that were had, the Bibles and tracks that were passed out, the prayers that were uttered on behalf of so many.
The beauty of the imago dei in each person. Whether they know Him or not, they are made in His image.
The religious freedom that legally exists in the country. India is not closed to the Gospel.
The sweet fellowship we shared with the national believers.
The beauty of God's creation - the bright colors of the fruits and vegetables lining the street markets, the beautiful flowers that poked out in random and unexpected places, the majestic snow-capped mountains of the Himalayas seen high above the clouds, the natural beauty of the rice fields and waterfalls and countryside that we passed.
The sisters and volunteers with Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity - their sacrifice and their work among the "least of these."
The opportunities that God provided to share Christ with people.
The belief that the prayers for laborers to work this harvest will be answered, that Christian brothers and sisters will heed the call.
Knowing that God is sovereign over all. Nothing happens without His consent or knowledge. He loves these people, and He desires their redemption.
Knowing that one day when I am standing before the throne of God, I will be surrounded by a great host of believers from all nations and people groups - including Bengali and Indian brothers and sisters. I just pray that their number on that day will be reflective of the current Bengali and Indian population on the earth.

"After this I looked, and behold, a great multitude that no one could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and languages, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, with palm branches in their hands, and crying out with a loud voice, 'Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!'" (Revelation 7:9-10)

Imago Dei

This past week, the 2 year-old that I nanny told me that he wanted to be a superhero (this was after he told me that I could be in his rock band along with his aunt and Terence Cody). In relation, on my last day in India I had gotten up early to walk around and to pray a little when I came across two little boys who were pretending to be Batman and Spiderman and who were trying to conquer the dang crows that were everywhere in the city. And I thought to myself how some things don't change no matter what continent one is on. I also pondered why it is that boys can be so enraptured with superheroes, which led me to the image of God. I'm not trying to go John Eldredge on you, but in different ways, males and females reflect something about the God Who created them, the One in Whose image they are made.

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27)

Before leaving for India, the whole concept of the imago dei became impressed on my heart. I didn't know why. But God was telling me that it would somehow be connected to India.

I was listening to a podcast by Tim Keller on Genesis 1:26-2:3, and he made the comment that Manhattan has 60,000 people living per square mile in that city. Since there's more image of God per square mile in Manhattan than anywhere else in America, how can God's love not be more intensely focused on that place?

India has the world's second largest population - 1.17 billion people. Kolkata alone is a city of about 15 million people. One Sunday while I was in church in India, a pastor commented that, since God loves people, God loves India more than any other country in the world except for China.

So what are the implications of people being made in the image of God?

1. Value

Being made in the image of God gives someone instant value. They are unique. They expressly communicate something about the Creator that no one else can. This gives dignity to human life.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you..." (Jeremiah 1:5a)

Each life has been formed by God. He has made you exactly the way you are for a specific reason. He knows you (Ps. 139). And He loves you just the way you are. You are a reflection of Him.

As I was surrounded by a thousand Christian Indian students in Shillong, God reminded me that each of these precious people reflect something about God that I cannot. And because they are believers, I need them. As part of the same Body, we all need each other. I may live on the other side of the world, but we all need each other to be the Body, to live out the calling that God has placed on us, to use the gifts and talents that He has given to us. If we don't, the Body and the world will suffer as a result.

2. How we treat people

Infanticide. Abortion. Euthanasia. Race. Mental ability. - Our views on these issues stem from our belief on the value of human life. Either we firmly hold that each life is precious because it is made in the image of God, or we base our judgment of a life's worth on human capability.

Warning: basing life on one's capability quickly makes a life expendable.

A low respect for human life is the reason for so much of the disparity that I saw in India. It is why parents sell their children to work in factories or sell them into prostitution just for the money. It's the reason for the caste system that, although legally abolished, is still socially upheld. It's the foundation for the low regard for women. This is what happens when individuals and when whole cultures do not view people as made in God image. They are disposable. There is no human dignity here. Value comes from what you do, not who you are. Therefore, work is essential because it gives you your worth. But when God is not the foundation, the building will crumble.

When I was in the slums of India, I had only walked a few feet when I determined not to take any more pictures of the people in those slums. In a small way, I wanted to preserve what little dignity they felt that they had. I wanted to demonstrate respect towards them, especially in a society that has little respect for its untouchables. I wonder how many of these people realize that they are valuable to God or that they are valuable period. Who has told them that they are loved? Who has told them that they are precious and that they have worth? Even if they have heard such words, have they been treated in such a manner?

Consider this statement by C.S. Lewis in his sermon entitled "The Weight of Glory":
"It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature, which if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, marry, snub, and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors."

When we look at others and when we interact with people, do we do so with the mentality that they have been created in God's image? What dictates preferential treatment but a view of worth based on capability rather than on their creation.

How can we love God if we do not love the people - all of the people - whom He has created?

Every time I walked the streets or drove down the road, God reminded me that the people swarming around are His. He made them, and He loves them. This changed how I looked at the beggar, the broken, and the Brahmin. It made it easier to look on them with love and to act accordingly even when they smelled bad, frustrated me, scared me, or broke my heart. God loves them. He is broken over their hurts and over their bondage to so many lies.

Be a blessing.

When we are blessed by the Lord, we should bless others. We must become channels of God's blessings and love. We must give hands and feet to the Gospel. We must show its truth by living and working out our faith. We must offer ourselves to be the grain of wheat that falls to the ground and dies in order to produce life.

The people that I saw and met - they don't even know that they were made in the image of God. Most do not even know God. They worship several of gods and goddesses, but they do not know the One True God, which is the crux of the entire matter.

If you look at the scads of photos that I took while in India or even my top 20 on this blog, the people in those pictures may now be but a blur to you, just a nameless person in a photograph. But that person is a reflection of the Creator. You may not know their name, and I may not be able to pronounce it. But God knows them intimately. He made them, and He wants them to know Him and to be in relationship with Him.

They have value to Him, yet we walk by them without seeing them. We flip quickly through photo albums of people and places that mean little to us but that are deeply known and loved by God. We're quick to become desensitized to abject poverty, to the vaporous nature of human life, and to man's desperate need for God. But what's important to God should be essential to us. If we truly have the conviction that what we believe is real, then we would go to them that are in darkness. But, instead, we are allowing Satan to buy up the opportunity while we're wasting time trying to decide if we're willing to pay the cost.


*India Journal, January 3rd:
"You formed them in the womb. Before the creation of the world, You had a plan for their life, a reason for their existence. They bring something to Your creation that no one else can bring. They reflect You in a way that I cannot. They have value and worth, not because of their caste, color, SES level, etc. They have value and dignity because they are Yours. You made them. Like the Wemmicks in Max Lucado's children's books - they are special. We, like snowflakes, are one of a kind. There is great potential in each soul. There is great capability in each person because of the marvelous design of their Creator.

Do we view each other in this manner? Do we treat each other as though this is reality? Because this is the reality. How God loves the leper and the dalit! How God knows their name, knows the number of hairs on their head, knows the length of their days, knows their comings and goings! Not only does He know, but He cares about it all because He cares about THEM.

The baby girl in the decrepit tent in the Guwahati slums - God sees her poverty. He sees her beauty. He sees what she could be. Do we? Why aren't we going and helping such as these? If we truly believe in the imago dei, then why aren't we helping to improve her situation? Why are we allowing the hopelessness to continue?

The beggars lined along the paths to the temple - destitute, dirty, damned to a life of hunger, a life of hopelessness, and an eternity in Hell. What are we doing to elevate their status, to improve their conditions in life, to give them knowledge of the hope and future they can have in Christ? Do we even 'see' them?

In John 9, Jesus gives sight to the blind man, but in verse 1, John tells us that first Jesus SAW this blind beggar. While talking with His disciples and walking down the road, Jesus did not ignore the beggar. He was not ignorant of His plight nor hardened of heart towards his great need. He saw the man's pain and did not pass him by. Jesus values each person even those whom His culture did not esteem - tax collectors, Samaritans, women, and sinners. Jesus loves them all.

'"'Truly I say to you, as you did to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'" (Matthew 25:40)

'...you did it to me.' - What have you done to your Lord?"

Top 20 from India

I literally took hundreds of pictures in India, and if you want to thumb through them all, most are on FB. However, here is the narrated version of the top 20 significant pictures from the trip and why.


1. The woman on the far right is why this picture is important. Her name is Mrs. Beulah, and I was able to have several conversations with her and just sit at her knee and glean from her wisdom and spiritual insight. This woman is dialed in to God, and she was able to shed some light on what God is doing in India and how to pray for the people there.


2. Let's just say I am very adept at using the squatty potty. I carried my own TP and antibacterial everywhere for such a time as this because it was hardly ever provided for you. In relation, let's just say you don't shake hands, eat, or gesture towards people with your left hand.


3. Spending New Year's Eve at a convent in India burning an effigy of Anselm with the sisters definitely is one of the most random events in my life, but this is how we heralded in 2010.


4. On New Year's Day, we were driving to Guwahati from Shillong, and suddenly, we looked outside of our taxi's window and saw these elephants just walking down the street!


5. Early one morning, we got up and walked through the slums of Guwahati before its inhabitants left for the day. I've seen the ghettos and homeless of America and the Roma communities of Europe, so I am not unfamiliar with poverty and desperate circumstances. But nothing prepared me for the slums of India. There is so much brokenness. So much disparity. Such hopelessness. It was heartbreaking to see. I only took a handful of photographs because I wanted to demonstrate dignity towards the men and women whom I passed - people who do not even know that they have value and worth because of the God Who created them in His image. They reflect something completely unique and special about the Creator, and they do not even know Him. And unless we tell them, they may never know. Unless we help them, they are doomed to die in the squalor that I saw, the disparity that is their reality.


6. I passed by this baby girl while in the slums, and I pondered her future. Unless someone intervenes, her trajectory is firmly set towards poverty, an early death, and an eternity in Hell. Who will heed the call and go to her?
"Does it not stir up our hearts to go forth and help them, does it not make us long to leave our luxury, our exceeding abundant light, and go to them that sit in darkness?" (Amy Carmichael)


7. Cricket is to India as SEC football is to the South.


8. The platform in this picture is an altar at a Hindu temple where they perform animal sacrifices. Although I was not able to take pictures, there was an Hindu temple that we visited in Kolkata where the priests would place the offered goat's head between two stakes, chop its head off, remove the body, and the person making the offering would put his head between the two stakes and put the goat's blood on his face. The priest told us that they do this to emphasize substitution, the animal taking the person's place. It is such a stark reality of how Satan twists the truth into a lie. They don't know that the One true God has already sacrificed His Son on our behalf. They don't realize that the gods to whom they are appealing cannot see their offerings, smell their incense, or hear their prayers. Why? Because the gods that they worship are not real. They are not living. And they cannot save them.


9. This is a line of people waiting to see the image of a god at a Hindu temple. The cage in which they were waiting is indicative of their spiritual bondage. They are so lost, and they don't even know it. How much money, time, and effort they put into worshipping these gods - especially when so many of these people are destitute. And what is truly tragic is the children who were waiting with their parents in these lines. It's reinforcing the cycle of idolatry. What will it take to break this cycle? Who will share with them the Truth?
"The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound." (Isaiah 61:1)


10. This is a Sikh man with his daughter, and it is one my favorite pictures from the trip. They may not know God, but He formed them in the womb. Before they were born, He knew the length of their days and the events of their lives. And, oh, how He loves them! He has made them in His image.
"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." (Genesis 1:27)


11. I was unprepared for the enormous number of beggars and homeless that I encountered in India. There was one night when I was walking down the street to purchase some water, and I could barely walk on the sidewalk because of all of the sleeping bodies of the homeless. Kids would grab at my clothes and walk with me holding their hands out and calling "Auntie, please!" I could not help them all, and at times, it even became a safety issue to help them. I often felt hopeless because there are so many homeless - I could not help them all. I could not even make a dent into solving the problem. A man at breakfast one morning reminded me that I was simply called to be faithful in helping the people God put before me. Imagine if the whole body of believers were to be faithful in helping the "least of these."


12. The street children. Our group helped teach English at two different schools while we were in Kolkata. One of the schools picks up street children and tries to educate them. Education is not compulsory in India, and as a result, only about 65% of India's population is educated. While riding the bus with these children one morning, I had about three of the toddlers in my lap, and my hands could feel the rattling in their chests that comes from inhaling so much of the pollution from the heavy traffic. It's what happens when one is homeless and lives on the sidewalks of the street. These children are often ill because of inadequate healthcare, poor sanitation, and wretched living conditions.


13. While riding around the Victoria Memorial in Kolkata, I saw this young child begin to just urinate on the sidewalk. When I turned back around, this same child was playing in his own urine. There was no one around him to watch him. He was all alone. I wanted to gather this little boy and so many of the other children that I saw and take them home with me - to provide for them a home, to show them love, to give them a hope and a future, to introduce them to Jesus.


14. Our group went to Kumar Tuli one afternoon, which is the section of Kolkata where the idols are made. There were thousands of idols lining the street, sitting out to dry. I watched one man making the fingers that would be attached to one particular goddess, and I saw other men adding paint to other idols. How can people believe in something that they make with their own hands? We talked with several of these men, and they told us that they worship these gods and goddesses. While we were there, I watched people come up and kneel and pray before these images - images that were not even finished yet! My heart burned with anger and with sorrow. Anger that so many people worship something other than the one true God, and sorrow that so many people believe a lie.


15. This photo is a stand-in for something that I saw while inside this temple and that I will never forget. This is the Birla Mandir, a Hindu temple devoted to RadhaKrishna, and we had gone to tour and to talk with people here. Because I was there at dusk, I saw the call to worship, and as I was leaving, I watched a little boy imitate his father in kneeling down before Krishna's idol and praying to it. My heart screamed to God for this precious child to sift the truth from the lie and to follow a path different than the one taken by his father and ancestors. It was like watching a soul enter the courts of Hell and pay homage.


16. The school in which I taught is a Christian school, and looking at the children in this place was like a bright ray of hope. The kids coming to this school are from Hindu and Muslim families, and because their families are poor, they would not have been educated unless this school was present and offering free education. Plus, these kids are hearing the Gospel. The little girl in the right of this photograph is a little jewel - so intelligent and precious.


17. We volunteered with Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity, and I went one morning to visit the exhibit and mother's tomb. I was struck by her dedication and by the service done by her and the sisters in Kolkata - particularly after walking through and praying with some of the inhabitants of Khaligat (mother's home for the sick and the dying). This phrase written in flowers on her tomb stems from Matthew 25 when Jesus tells His followers that whatever they do to the least of these, they do unto Him.
"How can we love God whom we do not see, if we do not love our neighbors whom we see, whom we touch, and with whom we live?" (Mother Teresa)


18. The people are so beautiful - so reflective of the imago dei. It reminded me that even in the midst of so much brokenness there is still great beauty to behold.


19. Getting henna is definitely out-of-character for me, but I was able to have a great conversation with a Hindu woman who came up to Lindsay and me while we were having it done.


20. I spent one afternoon in a village outside of Kolkata, emphasis on village. It was like being in the jungles of South America or the grasslands of Africa - no running water, although I had cell phone service. And when it got dark, I could not even see my hand right in front of me. There was a precious teenage girl who held my hand and guided me through the narrow land bridges between the ponds and rice fields in the village as we visited several homes with some native church planters and shared our testimonies with the families. Initially, we began in the center of the village, where the well was located, and had some activities for the children and women. Here, they are gathered while we explain one of the activities. At the far left corner of the picture, the tip of the idol and altar in the village's square is visible. Even in the villages, there were idols, which emphasizes the great need for God in the country of India. While I was at church over there, a pastor made the comment that God loves India more than any other country in the world except for China because God loves people and because India is the second largest country by population. God has so much love for these people, and they do not even know Him or know how much they are loved.