A Relationship Manifesto - Part 4

"Single life may be only a stage of a life's journey, but even a stage is a gift. God may replace it with another gift, but the receiver accepts His gifts with thanksgiving. This gift for this day. The life of faith is lived one day at a time, and it has to be lived - not always looked forward to as though the 'real' living were around the next corner. it is for today for which we are responsible. God still owns tomorrow" (Elisabeth Elliot, Let Me Be A Woman).

Single, dating, engaged, or married - every stage is a gift. How are you doing with the gift God has given you? Have you accepted it with thanksgiving? Are you living in the moment, or are you too busy planning for when your life will start to realize that it already has? Make the most of this gift, of the precious time you have been given.

EVEN IN EDEN

This is it. The first instance of boy meets girl. The original moment of love's first glance. The first wedding. A couple who knew perfection, who knew perfect love - a love that would survive the deepest joy and the greatest heartbreak of human history. But the greatest part of this love story involves the One Who wrote it and the One Who loved most.

In Genesis 2:7, Scripture describes God as the Master Potter forming and sculpting man out of the dust of the ground, and when God stepped back to observe His handiwork, He was pleased. All was "good" - good, that is, until one reaches Genesis 2:18.

"The the LORD God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him" (Gen. 2:18).

Even in the perfection of Eden it was not good for man to be alone. Whoa - hold the phone! Does this mean that every person is meant to be married? Does God's evaluation here signify that to be single is to be inferior or incomplete in some way? No! And Paul addresses this in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8.

"I wish that all were as I myself am. But each one has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am" (1 Cor. 7:7-8).

God gives each person their own gift. Are you looking with longing at what God has given another instead of enjoying what He has given you? God intended your gift for you. If He meant it for someone else, He would have given it to them. But your gift has your name on it. And if your gift is singleness, Paul comments that this is "good." He uses creation language, repeats God's assessment from Genesis 1, and applies it to singleness.

So what is God getting at in Genesis 2:18? How come it was not good for Adam to be alone, yet God sees fit to allow you or me to be single? First of all, the Genesis account demonstrates that God created humanity for relationships. While we will not all be married, we all have a need to be connected to others. God wired us to know and be known. And this need existed even in the Garden. Second, as Paul says, "each one has his own gift from God" (1 Cor. 7:7). God saw fit to give Adam a wife, and He knows best. Remember, He is the Author of this tale. He's the Giver of the gift.

ADAM'S WHAT?

God knows everything, and when He made Adam, He was not unaware that Eve's creation would be forthcoming. So why didn't He make them at the same time? I believe that God did this to show the necessity of woman and human relationships and to give dignity to her as the culmination of His creation. No other religion offers a story for the formation of woman, but to God, she is vital. Adam needed her, was incomplete without her. It was as if he was missing a piece of himself until he met her - and Adam acknowledged as much when he burst into poetry upon first glimpse of his wife: "This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;" (Gen. 2:23). He had waited his whole life to meet her, granted that had only been a few hours since both were made on the sixth day of creation. Essentially, by ordering events in this manner, God demonstrated Eve's necessity.

So our Sovereign Creator God assessed Adam's situation and determined to solve the problem Himself by creating a helpmeet for Adam.

A helper fit for Adam.
Someone who is like him.
Someone who corresponds to him.
Someone who is opposite to him.
Someone who would help him in doing what he could not do alone.
Someone who would provide what is lacking in the man.
Someone who would be his corresponding counterpart.

"So God declared that help was on the way from one who would be both like and unlike the man - one whose corresponding differences would make man complete for what God intended him to do. This is why the Apostle Paul would say that the man was not made for the woman 'but woman for man' (1 Corinthians 11:9). The woman would make it possible for man to do what he never could alone. And likewise for the woman. Something 'very good' would fill man's aloneness" (R. Kent Hughes, Beginning and Blessing).

We need each other. As people and especially as believers - we need both genders. And this was God's plan from the beginning. Human beings cannot complete their destiny without mutual assistance.

GOD'S BACHELOR AWARENESS PROGRAM

Oblivious. Clueless. Unaware. Sometimes guys just don't get it. No offense to any male readers - but you guys are different, and sometimes the extent of the differences are astounding.

After God makes His divine assessment, the reader expects immediate implementation of His solution. But what happens next?

"So out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what He would call them. And whatever the man called the living creature, that was its name...But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him" (Gen. 2:19, 20b).

God knew that Adam's aloneness was "not good," but Adam had no clue. Because all was perfect in Eden, He may not have even recognized that he was alone. Hence, the animal project. By seeing and naming every animal (and how many animals are there?), God was driving in the fact that, unlike the animals, Adam had no partner.

Now, do we see Adam lamenting his singleness? Do we see him begging God for a mate? No, granted, woman had not even been made yet. Despite that, what we do see is Adam being obedient to God. And whatever our stage, this is our call - to have faith and to be faithful.

From Genesis 2:7, we see that God created Adam. In Genesis 2:18, God identified a problem - man's loneliness, and God determined to solve the problem. In Genesis 2:19, God formed the animals and brought them to Adam to name. And in Genesis 2:21, God put Adam to sleep, performed surgery, and made Eve. Finally, in Genesis 2:22, God brought the woman to Adam. In this passage, there's an emphasis on God doing the action - we see the obvious hand of God orchestrating events according to His master plan. Throughout, He is the One Who is in control and Who is working all things toward the fulfillment of His purpose.

And He is working in your life, weaving every event and circumstance. I do not know what stage you are in, what gift you are currently experiencing, but trust the Giver and enjoy His gift.

"Let not our longing slay the appetite of our living" (Jim Elliot, quoted in Let Me Be A Woman).